Introduction
What qualities come to your mind when you think of a faithful man?
Probably, you are thinking of a spiritual man—one who is walking with the Lord well. Perhaps you are thinking of a minister—one who is committed to serving in his church ministry well. Yet, most of you would think of a loving man—one who loves his wife and children well.
The problem is, we live in a time when it is difficult for men to love well.
After all, aren’t men often accused of not knowing how to love? You hear stories of women complaining about their husbands’ memory loss when it comes to anniversaries, despite being able to memorize every shot statistic of LeBron James from 2003 to the present. You hear children exasperatedly telling their friends that their dads are not really emotionally expressive with them.
Aren’t men also accused of being unfaithful lovers by default? I can’t count how many times I have heard from women, even Christians, the phrase, “Ganyan talaga mga lalaki!” The last time I heard that was in a Bible study, where a woman was lamenting that she was working so hard away from home to provide an education for her kids while her husband was cheating on her with another woman! When every woman in the Bible study heard that, they all exclaimed, one after another, “Ganyan talaga mga lalaki.”
For them, all men are cheaters—unfaithful and unreliable (Proverbs 20:6). And if they don’t seem unfaithful, maybe it is because they are just good at hiding it (Numbers 32:23).
Now, to be fair, I don’t believe the claims of women that all men are unfaithful. I also don’t believe that men are truly clueless about loving their spouses. I know, as a man, that men want to be faithful, men want to be truthful, and men want to love well.
The problem is that we live in a time when men don’t have many good examples of how to love well. The athletes they admire often have bad reputations in their marital relationships. There are not many mentors for men in the church, as most church members are women. Their fathers probably do not know how to train a man to love in a godly way, or they are significantly absent from their lives, unable to disciple them due to work.
As a result, culture is the one discipling them on how to be a man, and the world is teaching them to follow their emotions rather than their God-given commitments (Romans 12:2).
Our culture has done great damage in discipling men to be unfaithful.
Are men really unfaithful? Isn’t there any man who is faithful? If a man wants to be faithful, can he find an example to look at?
The good news is, yes, he can. God has given us His Word to heal us, to change us, and to conform us to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29, Psalm 119:9). One good place to look for an example of a faithful man is in the book of Ruth, chapter 4. Here, we see a picture of a faithful man being painted in a real-life, down-to-earth, day-to-day issue—one that is not abstract but practical. One that is not irrelevant but very similar to today’s issues. Having a picture can give us tangible goals to pray for and pursue.
There are three lessons we can learn from Boaz on what it means to be a faithful man: a faithful man respects God’s law, a faithful man is committed even when it’s costly, and a faithful man is responsible for honoring his commitment.
A Faithful Man Respects God’s Law
Now Boaz had gone up to the gate and sat down there. And behold, the redeemer, of whom Boaz had spoken, came by. So Boaz said, “Turn aside, friend; sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down. And he took ten men of the elders of the city and said, “Sit down here.” So they sat down. (Ruth 4:1-2)
Ruth 4 starts with Boaz attempting to fulfill his commitment to Ruth—a commitment he made in chapter 3. He committed himself to be the redeemer of both Ruth and Naomi. In today’s terms, he was committing himself to take Ruth as his beloved and legal wife. Unfortunately, there was another redeemer who had the right to do so first. And so, Boaz proceeded in a very uncommon manner.
Why uncommon? Because he acted in a way that respected God’s law. He sought permission from the redeemer first in the presence of elders and witnesses, which was according to God’s law and tradition (Deuteronomy 25:5-10).
So, explain again—why is that uncommon? Don’t men usually follow laws, even God’s laws?
Well, most of the time—except when it comes to passions and desires that are emotional or sexual in nature (James 1:14-15).
If you have been reading the book of Judges, you get the sense that the heroic men—the judges—didn’t really care much about what was right and wrong as much as they cared about fulfilling their own desires and passions (Judges 17:6).
They often did what pleased them.
- Barak didn’t want to lead the armies even though he was called to (Judges 4:8).
- Jephthah made a foolish vow out of rashness, leading to the sacrifice of his daughter (Judges 11:30-31).
- Samson, the most famous of them all, was known for “following his heart” straight into Delilah’s lap! (Judges 16:4-6).
That’s why, if you have been reading Judges, you might be expecting Boaz to disregard traditions and customs. He liked Ruth—he said so himself in chapter three! Also, hadn’t the judges whom God ordained often followed their own passions and ignored God’s commands?
Yet, Boaz listened to God’s law and obeyed it. He gave respect to the elders. He gave respect to the redeemer. Why? Because that’s what faithful men do. They give weight to God’s law over their feelings and passions (Psalm 119:11, Proverbs 3:5-6).
As a man, you may be struggling with this. After all, that’s all you’ve known—obey your passions, obey your passions. All you hear in your head are these phrases:
- “Yes, she’s an unbeliever, but I love her!” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
- “It’s just one kiss, no harm.” (Matthew 5:28)
- “I really love her—is it wrong to love?” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)
But here’s the thing—you also know what obeying your passions has done to your life. Broken hearts, ruined purity, and calloused souls litter the path you have taken in following your passions (Galatians 6:7-8). You may be stuck with an unbeliever who is leading you away from God. You may even be burdened with guilt for the sexual sins you have fallen into (Psalm 51:10-12).
The good news is, God’s law is good for you. It is as good as that sweet caramel macchiato you are drinking at Coffee Bean on a cold day. It is as good—if not better—than anything the world can offer you. Why?
His law revives you, gives you wisdom, sustains you, and upholds you (Psalm 19:7-9).
Believe it. Take hold of it. Start respecting God’s law again (Psalm 119:105).
He Was Committed Even If It Was Costly
Boaz made a promise to Ruth to redeem her. For many of us, this is a wonderful love story—here comes this knight in shining armor to save the damsel in distress. Yet we often miss the dragon that the knight had to slay—and in this case, the cost of Boaz’s commitment. Did Boaz’s commitment to Ruth cost him something great? I believe it did.
The redeemer who had the first right initially wanted to be the redeemer. When Boaz told him about the land Naomi was selling, he wanted to buy it. He wanted to take the deal that would lead him to acquire the land. But when Boaz reminded him that he also had to marry Ruth to perpetuate the name of her deceased husband, the redeemer backed out of the deal. Why?
He was only committed as long as it did not cost him anything.
“Now this was the custom in former times in Israel concerning redeeming and exchanging: to confirm a transaction, the one drew off his sandal and gave it to the other, and this was the manner of attesting in Israel. So when the redeemer said to Boaz, ‘Buy it for yourself,’ he drew off his sandal.” (Ruth 4:7-8)
Now, if it would cost the redeemer something by taking Ruth the Moabite as his wife, then surely it would have cost Boaz something great—great enough to make another man back off. Remember, Boaz was also a landowner like the redeemer.
Despite this, Boaz remained committed—even if marrying Ruth could cause him loss.
I’m amazed by how many godly young men who are of marriageable age delay their marriage to their girlfriends. Their girlfriends are Christian, godly women; both have regular jobs and are doing well. Yet somehow, they delay their marriage. When asked, the reasons given are:
- “Nag-iipon pa pangbili ng bahay at lupa.” (I’m still saving up to buy a house and lot.)
- “Hindi pa ready ang parents ko na mag-asawa kami.” (My parents are not ready for us to get married.)
- “Nagsusupport pa ako sa family ko. Later na, pag nakatapos na yung kapatid kong bunso sa pag-aaral.” (I’m still supporting my family. Later, after my youngest sibling finishes school.)
The problem with delaying marriage unnecessarily in order to achieve these goals—of houses, parental support, and sibling graduations—is this: You are saying to your future wife, “Wifey, you’re the most important person in my life, but not as important as my goals and dreams for myself, my parents, and my siblings. They come first, not you.”
Yes, there is such a thing as prudence. Yes, you don’t get married without counting the cost (Luke 14:28). But at the same time, you don’t trade your marriage for something that is worth less than the one you are marrying. You don’t get married simply because you feel like it. However, the reverse is also true—you don’t simply delay marriage just because you don’t feel like you’re ready to get married.
Young men, feelings follow commitment, not the other way around.
He Was Responsible to Honor His Commitment
After making the commitment to be Ruth’s redeemer, Boaz took her to be his wife. He did not merely commit and then delay unnecessarily. He did not commit and then go back on his word. He married Ruth.
“So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the Lord gave her conception, and she bore a son.” (Ruth 4:13)
This is an important lesson for those who are courting a woman. When you pursue her, you are making a commitment to her. Of course, she has the right to reject your pursuit. If she does, you are free from the commitment you made to her.
However, if she says yes, then get ready—because you have courted her toward marriage. Yes, you heard that right. Marriage.
“But Pastor, can’t we test each other first to see if we are compatible?”
Here’s the thing—there’s no such thing as consistent compatibility in marriage. In a relationship, there are times when you complement each other, and there are times when you are like two magnets pushing each other away.
What keeps a relationship growing despite this phenomenon is not compatibility—it is humility.
- Humble enough to recognize that both of you are sinners (Romans 3:23).
- Humble enough to forgive one another (Colossians 3:13).
- Humble enough to remain committed, even when the world tempts you with “better choices” (Hebrews 13:4).
I believe God is sovereign in His will (Romans 8:28). That means I believe the woman God meant for you, young man, is the woman you will marry. That’s right—you will know she is the one for you when you get married. However, I also believe that when you court someone and she says yes, it is God’s will for you to prepare your relationship for marriage.
Because Jesus said, “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’” (Matthew 5:37).
In Closing
So, men of God, today you may not be like Boaz. Don’t worry—Boaz is not the ultimate standard. Jesus is! He was the ultimate example of faithfulness. He was faithful unto death, even death on a cross, in order to save sinners like you and me (Philippians 2:8).
Why did He do this? So that you and I could be faithful men like Him.
He died so that you and I could die with Him (Galatians 2:20).
He rose again from the dead so that you and I could rise again with Him, becoming a new man—the kind of man He has prepared to be faithful (2 Corinthians 5:17).
How do you become a faithful man? Draw near to Jesus and His Word. Repent and believe His Word. When you do so, God will enable you to…
- Learn to respect God’s law.
- Learn to commit, even when it is costly.
- Learn to be responsible to honor that commitment.