There were three instances that made me think about how blind I can be when it comes to my sin.
First, a Twitter quote:
When I read this quote, I thought it was weird. Why pair a statement on God’s love with someone in active sin? Yes, God loves the sinner. Yet, as one commenter noted, God loved David even when he was and had committed sin against Him by having Uriah killed and sleeping with Bathsheba, but God sent Nathan the prophet not to remind him of God’s love, but of his need to repent.
Yet it made me wonder how a preacher and teacher could seemingly minimize sin by emphasizing God’s love while deemphasizing the ugliness of the sin. It made me wonder, can a pastor or teacher be blinded by sin?
Second, a brother who fell into sin:
Another incident that made me reflect how blind I can be with my sin was when I heard a dear brother in the Lord had committed a serious sin. I wondered how he could have committed such a sin, since he was a stalwart Christian, active in the ministry. I wondered how he could have been so blind that he would commit a folly despite God’s repeated warnings and admonishment towards him when he committed the same sin in the past. I was bewildered that he would fall at this time, having been a Christian for so long. It made me wonder how could he do such a thing?
Third, a group of girls who sinned because someone had sinned:
The final incident that made me reflect on how blinding sin can be was a response by a group of Christian girls towards a perceived wrong committed against one of their own. They heard from someone about how a guy had probably cheated on their friend. Yet instead of confronting the guy and asking him directly about it, they resolved to gossip about it amongst themselves, piecing together various clues that gave them ‘evidence’ that the guy had actually cheated. When asked why they did not ask the guy, they mentioned emphatically that there is no need to, since their clues made the guy’s action and motives clearly obvious. It made me wonder, can people also sin when they are sinned against?
As I reflected on these things, I saw my most critical problem, here I was seeing how big the sins of the people in each incident. Yet, I had not ask the most important question: have I been doing the same things as they were? As I pondered, I realized three ways I can be blinded by my sin.
I can be blinded by my sin’s danger.
I can be easily blinded by the danger of the sin I am committing. It’s easy to spot the danger of other people’s sins, but when it comes to my sin, all I see are the benefits, not the harm. When my church member is not tithing, I can easily see how it will bring problems to their income. When I am not tithing, I find reasons to think that it won’t bring problems to my income. When young adults enter into same-sex relationships, I can see how dangerous their actions are to their soul and to their psyche. Yet, when I return to my porn use, I don’t think it will be as dangerous to my soul.
That’s why it’s difficult to counsel a person who is deep-set in his sinful way. It’s difficult to convince a Christian man to break-off his courtship to an unbelieving girl simply because he’s convinced it won’t be a problem. It’s difficult to counsel a woman who is about to give her virginity to a man who promised to stay with her but will eventually leave her, for she somewhat believes that her case is different from the thousands of girls who suffered a similar fate.
When we are blinded by our sin, we are like Cain, whom God had to warn about how his jealousy with Abel is letting sin crouch at the door (Genesis 4:7). A little later, we enter into a consequence that we cannot undo.
Yet, that’s not the only thing that I am blinded about.
I can be blinded by my sin’s deepness.
I can also be blinded by how deep my sin is within me, that it no longer feels like a sin. Take for example the girls in my illustration above. For many girls, gossip has become a natural response. Rather than confront a person, many of them would prefer to discuss it amongst themselves and confirm first, without realizing that they are already gossiping. Or take the many Christians who fall into sin that causes much alarm and scandal in the church. A pastor who commits adultery doesn’t just wake up one day and decide to commit adultery. It starts first with a gradual coldness in his marriage life, followed by an emotional bonding with a caring female church member. After they grow close over time, they ‘suddenly’ fall into sin.
As Doug Wilson likes to say, they don’t fall into sin suddenly. They fall into sin first slowly, then suddenly (a paraphrase of his quote).
So yes, I may be just texting the girl “as a friend.” I may be just talking with my friends to confirm my suspicions. I may be just counseling a sister in Christ one-on-one as she really needs godly counsel. Nevertheless, sin never starts with a bang. It starts with a spark, then turns to a fire you cannot quench, no matter how much water you pour on it.
I can be blinded by my sin’s denial.
Another problem I have with my sin is that I tend to justify my sin as not sin because it is a natural response for being sinned against. It’s a long way of saying that I can easily sin back to the person who sinned against me. For many people, even Christians, it’s easy to think that God gives a pass for someone to sin when they have become victims of someone’s sin. For example, a girl who has been cheated would feel that she is allowed to rant and curse every living male as cheaters (a.k.a pareho lang lahat ng mga lalaki, manloloko) and later justify her statement as being made due to her pain and suffering. A group of friends upon hearing their female friend just went through a break-up would think it is protection for her to console and cajole her into cursing the guy and being better of without him, without even listening to the side of the guy (who is also their friend) (Proverbs 18:17).
Just as we have Scripture as the standard of responding to sins against us (Romans 12:14-21), we also have no right to respond in a sinful way to those who sin against us. If we do, then not only will our sinner need forgiveness from our Savior, so do we.
What do I do if I’m blind?
If I am blind in my sins, what can I do? If I am aware of my sins, but I can’t seem to be free from them, what do I do?
- I shall ask God to open my eyes to my sin, not in a morbid way, but in a humble way. (Psalm 139:23-24)
- I shall confess my sins honestly, without qualification or excuse. (1 John 1:9)
- I shall set my hope on Christ and His powerful grace to change me, not on my sin and my need to return to it. (1 Peter 1:13-16)
And by God’s unfailing grace, I who was once blind, will now see.