Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, should I not seek rest for you, that it may be well with you? 2 Is not Boaz our relative, with whose young women you were? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. 3 Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your cloak and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. 4 But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.” 5 And she replied, “All that you say I will do.”
Ruth 3:1-5
We live in a world plagued with brokenness – even among Christians.
Some find themselves broken in their lives – unable to do their jobs at work or fulfill their duties at home. Some find their relationships broken and messed up, husband and wife no longer speaking to one another, or children in rebellion against parents. Some, experience brokenness in their spiritual life, stuck in a washing machine-like spin of sinning and repenting for a thousandth time within a year.
However, several problems complicate our ability to discern our brokenness.
First, there are people who are not broken but think they are. For example, there are those say, “I can’t work properly in my current job. I am no longer motivated nor passionate about what I do. I think I am broken. Nine times out of ten though, the person’s problem is not his brokenness, the problem is laziness.
Second, there are people who are really broken, but they either don’t see nor admit it. These are those who have brokenness but regard these as normal or just part of their life. For instance, a husband married to his wife for 25 years admitted that he no longer loves his wife. For him it was normal, it was just the way it was. They were together but no longer see the need to deal with their problem.
Third, there are those who do admit their brokenness, who know that they have a deep problem – but they don’t know what to do to overcome it. They truly want to fix their broken lives, broken marriage, and broken spirituality – but they feel it’s so, so difficult – as difficult as it is for a barely-reading three year old to solve complex trigonometry problems.
With all these problems, there three questions a person with suspected brokenness needs to answer. First, how do I know I am really broken? Second, why is it difficult to deal with brokenness when I have it? Third, can I stop being broken?
To answer these questions, let’s look at Ruth 3.
Ruth 3 is more or less the climax of the story of the book of Ruth. Here Naomi starts desiring something good for Ruth – rest or in more modern words – marriage. So she instructs Ruth to prepare herself and go to Boaz alone and present herself that Boaz be her redeemer. A redeemer is a relative of the deceased husband, who can marry the widow of his relative to preserve the relative’s lineage and ensure the widow’s survival and future. The idea of being a redeemer is embedded in God’s law to the Israelites (see Deuteronomy 25). So Ruth obeys and Boaz responds kindly and favorably to the proposal of being Ruth’s redeemer. However, he notifies Ruth that there is another relative who is much closer and therefore has the right to be the redeemer. Yes he assures her that he will be the redeemer should the man decline. Ruth returns to Naomi and tells her the good news, to which Naomi encourages Ruth to wait, for she was sure that Boaz will do what he must so that he would be the redeemer sooner rather than later.
What does this story or at least this part of the story have to do with brokenness? Well, all we have to do is look at Naomi in the story, and compare her to who she was before. When we do so, we can see how broken she was in chapter one, and how difficult it was for her to overcome her brokenness. We will also see how different she is in chapter three, and what made it possible for her to be different.
By looking closely at Naomi, our hope is to see clearly from God’s Word the following: the signs of brokenness, the struggles of brokenness and the salvation of brokenness. The signs will help a person discern whether or not he or she is broken or not. The struggles will give clarity why brokenness is difficult to deal with. Third, the salvation will give a vision to the broken person on what it looks like to no longer be broken. Then we will end with seeking how does a person experience such a salvation.
Signs of brokenness
What does it mean to be broken? Here’s my working definition. Brokenness means you are unable to do what God calls you to do because of what’s going on inside you.
Yes, unable. Without ability.
All because there is a problem inside you.
Without ability inside? What do you mean?
Well you understand what it means to be broken on the outside right? Broken physically? It means that you are unable to do things because there are parts of your body that doesn’t work. Some can’t hear because their ears don’t work. Some can’t see because their eyes don’t work. Some can’t walk because their feet don’t work. That’s brokenness on the outside. That we understand.
Yet what does it mean to be broken in the inside?
First, it means being possessed by a spirit of fear.
This means no longer want people to be around. Everything that will happen fear, evil will come, the results will be bad. This is precisely Naomi’s disposition in when her husband and children died, and her daughters-in-law wanted to follow her back to Bethlehem. She stopped them, for fear that they will suffer as she was suffering.
And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? – Ruth 1:10-11
Second, it means being overwhelmed by a spirit of bitterness.
This means that you feel anger, hatred, mumbling at yourself or at your own situation. Naomi expresses this clearly upon returning to Bethlehem and being greeted by those who knew her. She asked that she not be called “pleasant” which her name meant, but rather be called “Mara,” for she felt really, really bitter with the situation that God had bestowed upon her. She was not pleased, nor grateful, nor confused, but decidedly bitter.
She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. – Ruth 1:20
Third, it means being filled with a spirit of unbelief.
This does not mean that a person needs to stop believing in God for him to be regarded as broken. A person can still believe that God exists, but the broken will no longer believe in God’s revealed character. Naomi, in her despair, expressed this clearly and painfully when she calls God as the One who takes away blessings, and the One who brings hardship upon her.
I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” – Ruth 1:21
Now, in one sense, generally all of us, Christian and unbelievers, are broken certain ways due to sin. As we are created in God’s image, our sin distorted that image, the same way a broken glass distorts one’s reflection.
Yet the kind of brokenness we are talking about, is the one like Naomi’s – one who is overcome with fear, bitterness, and unbelief in certain areas in his or her life. A person who is broken is one who is so overcome with these things to the point that he can no longer function in that area.
For instance, a wife who is frustrated and bitter with her alcoholic and irresponsible husband may have enough of it and decide to stop fulfilling her duties as a wife – either by leaving the home or by being more of an enemy towards her husband rather than his companion.
A father who has made many mistakes in raising his children may be afraid to try to make amends and choose to keep distance from his children, effectively ceasing to father his children in person.
A family that is broken relationally is one that is rife with conflict where each member no longer believes that reconciliation can happen.
A Christian who is broken spiritually is one who is stuck in his cycle of sin and no longer believes God will help him overcome it.
At this point, it’s good to take this time to reflect – are you broken in any area of your life? Is your life exhibiting signs of brokenness? Are you being fearful, thinking you cannot be a good mother or father? Are you being bitter, thinking that others will have a happy, peaceful Christmas family reunion, while your family will never get together due to conflict? Are you being doubtful of God’s character, thinking that you will never be freed from your repeated sins?
So what if I have signs of brokenness, you may ask. Well this means that you will struggle – struggle greatly.
Struggles with Brokenness
The struggle with brokenness is twofold:
It happens to anyone (Ruth 1:1-5)
Naomi was a normal Israelite who went with her husband and children to Moab (1:1-5) to survive a famine. They wanted to live life normally, just as any of us would. Yet, it was her who experienced unexpected brokenness – with her husband and children dying.
There are three plausible causes to brokenness: tragedies (which was Naomi’s case), troubles, and transgression. And because we live in a fallen, sinful world, we will experience tragedies – death of loved ones, accidents, troubles – scams, business failures, job losses, family conflict, and transgressions – immorality, cheating, lying, stealing. This can happen to the worst of us, it can also happen to the best of us.
Nothing can seem to protect you from experiencing it. You may be the godliest saint in your church. You may be the most active volunteer in your church, sacrificially giving your time, talent, and treasures for the kingdom of God. You may be the most nonchalant member in the church, trying your best to be good and faithful. Still, it can happen to you. Even the best saints in history struggled with it during their Christian life – Augustine, Luther, Spurgeon, to name a few.
That’s why it’s troubling. Yet, that’s not the most troubling thing about brokenness. It’s this next one.
Nothing seems to be able to fix the broken. (Ruth 1:18-21)
I think Naomi really wanted to get out of the funky feeling of depression she had. Remaining in Moab and seeing her daughters-in-law would only remind her of the painful loss she experienced. So she decided to do two things: change her location, and change the people she is around in. She goes back to Bethlehem, and tries to go back without her daughters-in-law. Why? Maybe she believed that changing places and people can help fix the brokenness she was experiencing.
The problem is, it did not. When she went back to Bethlehem, her bitterness came with her. When she was surrounded with her people in Israel rather than Moabites, calling her name in a language she was familiar with, she remained doubtful of God. For Naomi, changing places and people didn’t work.
Isn’t that also the way we respond once we realize the depth of our brokenness. Of course, we don’t want to remain fearful, bitter, or doubtful. And so we think that it is the place or people around us that hinders us from overcoming these things.
So we move, to a new job, a new city, a new church, a new country. Thinking it will be better. It’s not.
So we change friends, change chatmates, change boyfriends or girlfriends – still the bitterness remains. The memories of our failures and hurts still paralyze us, and inadvertently poisoning our new friendships and relationships as well. That’s why a heartbroken women who was left by her boyfriend is often advised not to quickly enter into another relationship. For her bitterness will often be brought into the new relationship and toxify that relationship.
Thing with brokenness, is that it’s like a thick, tall wall in your face, hindering you from getting to the other side. You try to climb it, it’s too high. You try to break it, it’s too thick. You try to ignore it, it’s in your face, all gray, cold, and big as a city.
So, is there hope for someone who is broken? For Naomi, yes.
Salvation from Brokenness
Naomi was saved from brokenness. How? She was restored by God.
To be restored means to repair what is broken and make it as if it is not broken. This does not mean that the broken is merely replaced by something new. A broken smartphone is not restored by being replaced with a new one. A broken smartphone is restored when the same broken smartphone is made to work again. That’s the same with a Christian who is broken. God restores us by taking the broken us and remaking us again to do His purposes for us.
So what does it look like to be saved from brokenness? A broken person is restored when he…
He finds courage again (Ruth 3:1)
Now courage is not the absence of fear, but master over fear. It is not the person who presumes he has nothing to fear out of ignorance or hubris. No, a person who is courageous still feels the fear, but goes forward anyway. He is not mastered by his fear, but he masters his fear. We see this in Naomi.
In the first chapter, while Naomi was broken, she was fearful of being a mother to Ruth. She did not want Ruth to come with her, and her mind was not thinking about what she can do for Ruth as a mother often thinks about for their children. Yet, in chapter three, she starts thinking like a mother again. She starts wanting something good for her daughter-in-law, Ruth – marriage.
Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, should I not seek rest for you, that it may be well with you? – Ruth 3:1
He starts obeying again. (v. 2-6)
A person healed of brokenness starts to do something about their situation. Though they haven’t figured out what they should do, they just do something – but do something that is good. For Naomi, it was by starting to obey again.
Is not Boaz our relative, with whose young women you were? See, he is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor. Wash therefore and anoint yourself, and put on your cloak and go down to the threshing floor, but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. But when he lies down, observe the place where he lies. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down, and he will tell you what to do.” And she replied, “All that you say I will do.” So she went down to the threshing floor and did just as her mother-in-law had commanded her.
Ruth 3:2-6
How is this obedience? For many of us we find Naomi’s instruction and the succeeding events weird. Why? (1) cause Naomi’s involved in Ruth’s future marriage. (2) Ruth was seemingly courting Boaz. (3) Boaz seems old.
Yet this is obedience because first, Naomi obeyed God. Naomi’s instruction towards Ruth to seek Boaz as her redeemer is based on Deuteronomy 25:7-9. Furthermore, Ruth obeyed Naomi. As a daughter is to obey her mother, so she did so with Naomi. Finally, Boaz obeyed God. He acted respectfully towards Ruth during their exchanges.
A broken person often complicates his brokenness, making it more difficult for him to be restored. A wife’s rebellion towards her husband’s unbelief makes their marriage worse. A Christian’s insistence of being strong enough to overcome his porn addiction on his own makes his porn use worse. On our own, we cannot fix our brokenness.
Yet, a person being restored by God will see His actions in line with God’s Word. He learns to stop asking “why me Lord?” in a spirit of bitterness. Instead, He learns to start asking “what do you want me to do Lord?”
He starts believing again (v. 18)
Upon arriving in Bethlehem, Naomi stopped believing any kind of good will happen to her. Yet in chapter three, upon hearing Ruth’s report of her conversation with Boaz, exclaimed words that signify a return of faith: wait.
18 She replied, “Wait, my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out, for the man will not rest but will settle the matter today.” – Ruth 3:18
When we are broken, it is difficult to believe God will make things better, and so many do not wait. Yet when you, the broken, are restored, you start to believe God’s hand at work even if the desired result is not there yet. Naomi believed that Boaz will act upon his commitment. Naomi believed that God’s kindness will be manifest towards Ruth.
Naomi believed again.
Today, your life may be like Naomi’s – broken.
Maybe you are troubled and paralyzed in your duty as a husband, wife, father, or mother.
Maybe you are despairing over the broken relationship you have with your siblings or parents.
Maybe you are at the point of giving up on trying to let go of your pet sin.
Can your courage of being a faithful husband, wife, father, or mother be felt again?
Can you see yourself doing something to heal that broken relationship in your family?
Can you see yourself finally overcoming the sin you’ve been stuck in for fifteen years?
Can you be restored?
The good news is, Naomi’s God is your God and my God as well. He is able and willing to restore His broken people.
So how does God restore a broken?
Through His kindness– What made Naomi stop being fearful? She was reminded that God was still in control (Ruth 2:20).
And Naomi said to her daughter-in-law, “May he be blessed by the Lord, whose kindness has not forsaken the living or the dead!” Naomi also said to her, “The man is a close relative of ours, one of our redeemers.” – Ruth 2:20
Through His presence – God’s providence signaled His unwavering presence in ordinary Naomi’s life. We often think that God is with those faithful, super, apostolic leader-type Christians. We think that if God is with us, He gives us less attention compared to other better Christians. Yet, Naomi’s story shows us that it is untrue. God was with Naomi and Ruth, accomplishing His purposes in their life.
So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
– Hebrews 13:6
Through His promises – God promises to restore those who humble themselves and return to Him. Broken people remain unrestored, not because God refuses to restore them, but because they refuse to be restored by God. So draw near to God. Humble yourselves – and He will restore. Yes, He will. He promised to.
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. – James 4:8-10
Earlier, I likened our brokenness to that of a large wall staring at our face. No matter what we do, we can’t break it down or overcome it. Yet, God is not us. He is not constrained by our weaknesses and limits. He is the Almighty. He is able, and He is willing, to restore those who are broken. He is able to break down that large wall that so easily hinders you. So instead of keeping your eyes on that wall of brokenness. Turn your eyes to Jesus.
And though restoration may not come as fast as you would want, like Naomi, wait. For God is worthy of our trust.
He gives food in the greatest of famines.
He shows His light in the darkest of times.
He shows His healing power in the worse of sicknesses.
He shows His restoration in the worst of brokenness.
Yes, He restores broken people.